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Don’t Have Kids

Don’t have kids if you’re not ready to not be ready
or if you want to be in control or
if you don’t want to be completely swept off your feet.

Don’t have kids if you’re not ready to let go of your life
and create a new one, and
if you’re not ready to say I’ve been tired for 7 years
but I’m good.

Don’t have kids if you don’t think you can hold another person as long as it takes
period.
And don’t have kids if you’re not ready to clean vomit off a cat or
sleep on the floor or wonder when it is, exactly, that people learn to blow their own nose.

More ›

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Today

Woke up in the mornin’ not ready at all
Doesn’t really matter ’cause it’s not your call
Three little mouths to feed, ready to play
“Wake up Papa, what’re we doin’ today?”

Got 9 scoops in, brewin’ away
Got a million songs, but nothin’ to say
Even with the music on it’s all up hill
Just keep on cookin’, got those stomachs to fill

Papa’s in the yard blowin’, metal to mouth
Water’s drippin’ from a leaky spout
Kids are paintin’, baby’s in the pool
Papa’s wound tight on an empty spool

Breakfast’s done but now Mama’s gotta go
Baby’s cryin’ and tears start to flow
Papa says, “Baby she’ll be back”
Round and round, same old track

But the sun shines down it’s a beautiful day
Papa takes a breath and begins to play
Paint coats the paper, table, and skin
The water’s cool and clear, and baby jumps in

Papa’s in the yard blowin’, metal to mouth
Water’s drippin’ from a leaky spout
Kids are paintin’, baby’s in the pool
Papa’s wound tight on an empty spool

Time to lift that weight, gotta stay strong
Children are happy, gettin’ along
Sweat and struggle, muscle and steel
Laugh and cry, and shoulder that wheel

So that was today, tomorrow will follow
Wasn’t ready now it’s over, sometimes hard to swallow
Tryin’ to let go of mistakes and blame
Over and over, different and the same

Papa’s in the yard blowin’, metal to mouth
Water’s drippin’ from a leaky spout
Kids are paintin’, baby’s in the pool
Papa’s wound tight on an empty spool

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Amazons

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I saw this today and at first, I was like, “What the what?!” I knew it wasn’t only for moms, but still, as a dad who takes care of a lot of the kiddo stuff around here, including ordering shit online, FROM AMAZON, I was a little offended. My next thought was of course, they chose the name because of “the ring” of “Amazon” with “Mom”. It just sounds better; rolls off the tongue smoother. Sure enough, I read the fine print:

“Yes. Despite the name, Amazon Mom is open to anyone who is responsible for caring for a baby or young child–“Amazon Primary Caregiver” just didn’t have the same ring to it. Kidding aside, we chose this name because we noticed moms in social communities (like our Amazon discussion boards) looking to connect and share information about products and problems with other moms. We wanted a name that would let these groups know that this program was created with their unique needs in mind.”

So, there it is. Amazon is basically saying it’s open to everyone, but we’re only focusing on this one group of people: moms that contribute to online discussion forums about baby products and THEIR “unique” needs. I also think it’s funny to consider the correlation to Amazons (i.e. appealing to a dominant woman culture).

Time for some devil’s advocate, so sit tight a minute:
On the one hand…
I am offended. Here is a major online retailer branding something that totally excludes me. Yes, it’s in title only, but still, it sends a message that they considered me, but in the end their marketing department didn’t respect me enough to include me (except in the fine print). How can we as a society expect more out of our dads, when we continue to marginalize them to jokes about mowing the lawn, manscaping, man-caves, and barbecuing? Imagine if marketing department focused adverts for care products for children at men too, as if to say, “Yes, we acknowledge and expect the men in our society to be stepping up on this level. We’re appealing to you men out there that care if your child has diapers.” Would it solve the lazy, clueless, self-centered dad thing? Probably not. But it couldn’t hurt, right? Given all this, hell no, I’m not signing up for Amazon Mom.

On the other hand…
Dude’s aren’t thinking that much—they’re not that sensitive. Who cares what it’s called? As long as I’m saving money, fuggit, sign me up. I’m man enough TO be a member of Amazon Mom goddammit!

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