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Spanked by Jesus

Why do American’s have such a short-term memory and lack of patience? Is it exclusive to our country or is it a global problem? Is it generational? Can we blame it on technology and the faster flow of information which fosters that need for instant gratification? So then, is it a first-world problem?

Maybe if many of us didn’t have everything at our fingertips we wouldn’t take what we have for granted. Maybe if more of us had to wait for food or medical attention we would have more patience. You may see where this is going, but I’m about to shit all over the last elections, so if you don’t want to hear it, just go ahead and hit the back button on your browser now.

It seems to me there were possibly three things at work in this mid-term election that caused the scales to tip back to Republican/conservative control:

  1. Some people who voted for Obama and the Democrats in 2008 changed their minds.
  2. Some people—particularly minorities and younger voters—simply didn’t vote.
  3. Jesus hates us.

Now some of you may be saying, “Hey, that #3 isn’t true. Jesus loves the Republicans. After all, they do everything in his name and that’s why they won.” To this I reply, no, they do everything in the name of the Almighty Dollar and credit their higher power to appeal to the more ignorant voters out there. There is nothing in this country that isn’t ultimately driven by money. This applies to Democrats too, of course, but at least they don’t typically say God/The Bible/The Baby Jesus/etc. are telling them to do XYorZ. (Don’t worry, I’ll get back to this amazing point later in this post.) But first…

1. Some people who voted for Obama and the Democrats in 2008 changed their minds.

This is possible but why? They voted for Obama because after the dismal state the Bush administration left us in, these people were ready for a change and they felt Obama could be that change. The Republicans set America’s agenda for 8 years, leaving us in one of the biggest steaming piles of feces we’ve ever been in, and somehow, there’s people out there that believe Obama and the Democrats should have done more in only 2 years to warrant another vote.

This seems to me to be shear ignorance. If you don’t have the attention span to pay attention to your future, you should definitely go to http://whatthefuckhasobamadonesofar.com/ to get things distilled down for you. I think it’s clear Obama has made more progress in 2 years than even the Amazing Almighty George Bush Jr. did in 8. And remember people, Bush was just a figurehead, so you can’t blame everything on that man. He was backed by Republicans, the same Republicans that are gaining political ground.

2. Some people—particularly minorities and younger voters—simply didn’t vote.

This must be true because without these votes, how did Obama and the Democrats gain control in the first place? And now, without these votes, their support and control is slipping. I think for these groups mid-term elections don’t seem as important, so maybe it’s not worth it to them to vote. But I also saw a poll that said many younger voters who voted for Obama didn’t believe he was doing enough and/or didn’t care enough to vote (approval down from 58% to 49%). This is probably because they haven’t actually worked very hard in their entire, privileged lives and therefore have no concept of how much work anything takes. I’ve held a job since I was 11 (even before the legal age of 12) and no, I don’t know what it takes to pull a country out of a depression or a war. But I sure as hell know it takes more than 2 years, and even so, I see the improvements in financial accountability/responsibility, health care, environmental awareness/concern, and job creation that the Democrats’ agenda has created in just 2 years. So yeah, I’m a younger, minority voter and I got my ass out there to vote and keep the momentum going. Too bad more of my peers didn’t.

3. Jesus hates us.

This is just true. Or, if you prefer to think of him as an omniscient parental figure, then he’s whoopin our collective ass, and hopefully this is a lesson where pain and fear get the lesson across, and not just something that scars us for life.

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