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Out of Touch With Self

out_of_touch_with_selfI’ve felt like I’ve been spinning lately. My brain is going a thousand miles an hour most of the day and night, and thoughts about work, in particular, are jumping around up there and bouncing up and down on the relentless treadmill. This happens from time to time with me, but it’s usually not this bad. There’s been more going on at work than usual, but there’s something else at play.

I’m not staying in the moment. I’m spending my time thinking about what needs to happen next and worrying about what’s already past. What’s right in front of me slips away and sometimes becomes one more thing that I didn’t get done. When this is happening I also don’t eat regularly, I sleep even less than usual (which is not much), and perhaps most importantly, I’m not having any fun.

So yes, I know what I need to do: stay in the moment, have more fun. But how?

I’m going to remind myself to just take care of one thing at a time. There are times when I need to “parallel process” for work, but for the most part, things can be broken down into smaller steps to take care of, one at a time. Luckily I’m a list guy, so if I can just stick to the list and check those babies off, that will help.

I also haven’t been writing, here in particular. My last post was 11 days ago, the longest stretch of silence for a few months. So I stop writing and my mind spins out of control…no surprise there. I also haven’t been playing my horn and I think there’s something meditative about that. It’s (at the very least) time I can set aside to focus on something just for me, that’s creative, and helps me focus on breathing (another important survival tool).

None of this is a big revelation to me. I know these things. I just need to sit down and take a minute to focus it all through writing and share it with you. In a way to hold me accountable, but also to elevate the priority level. When I don’t take time to write, be creative, or play, then I’m also not going to be able to take care of the basics, like eating and sleeping, and when none of these things are happening, I can’t be the best Luke I can be.

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